IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Bar Chart Comparison — Model Answer
In the IELTS Writing Task 1, the difference between a Band 6.5 and a Band 9 often rests on a single skill: Data Selection.
The question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of people in five Australian cities who purchased coffee and tea in various ways in the last 4 weeks.
Data Categories: Bought fresh coffee, Bought instant coffee, Went to a cafe for coffee or tea. Cities: Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart.
Strategy: The "Examiner's Scan"
When a marker picks up your paper, they look for the Overview immediately after the introduction. If they cannot see a clear trend without looking at the chart, the essay is unlikely to cross the Band 7 threshold.
The following model answer utilizes a "Top-Down" structure:
- Introduction: Precise paraphrase.
- Overview: Identifying the dominant category and the outlier city.
- Data Body 1: Focus on the highest-performing category (Cafes).
- Data Body 2: Comparison of coffee types (Fresh vs. Instant).
Model answer (opening excerpt)
The bar chart delineates the coffee and tea consumption habits of residents in five major Australian cities over a one-month period. It compares three distinct behaviors: purchasing fresh coffee, buying instant coffee, and visiting a cafe for a beverage.
The full Band 9 response, with paragraph-by-paragraph examiner notes, is part of Ted.Talks.DZ coaching.
The Trap → The Logic → The Fix
The Trap: "The Shopping List" Many candidates write: "In Sydney, 44% bought fresh coffee. In Melbourne, 43% bought fresh coffee. In Brisbane, 34% bought fresh coffee." The Logic: This is redundant. The examiner already has the chart. They are testing your ability to summarize and compare. The Fix: Group the data. Use phrases like "Fresh coffee consumption hovered between 34% and 45% across all five cities." This covers five data points in one sentence while demonstrating superior control of English.
Band-by-Band Breakdown: Task 1 Comparison
| Criterion | Band 6.0 Performance | Band 9.0 Performance |
|---|---|---|
| Task Achievement | Includes all data but lacks a clear summary of main trends. Some irrelevant detail. | Highlights key features and makes relevant comparisons. The summary is clear and insightful. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | Uses "First," "Second," "In addition." Transitions feel "clunky" or overused. | Cohesion is "under the surface." Uses referencing (e.g., "This trend," "The latter") to link ideas logically. |
| Lexical Resource | Uses basic vocabulary (increase, decrease, big, small). May have spelling errors. | Uses precise collocations: "marginally lower," "pronounced gap," "mirrored the trend." |
| Grammatical Range | Simple sentences dominate. Errors in prepositions (e.g., "increase of 10%" vs "increase to 10%"). | Error-free complex structures. Uses varied subordinate clauses and passive voice where appropriate. |
More: all model answers · Task 2 structure guide
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