IELTS Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay: Healthcare — Model Answer
To the uninitiated, the "Discussion" essay is a test of vocabulary. To an examiner, it is a test of logical architecture. When we evaluate an essay on the public versus private healthcare debate, we are looking for the candidate’s ability to navigate two competing ideologies without losing their own stance in the process.
The question
Some people believe that healthcare should be free and provided by the government, while others argue that individuals should pay for their own medical care through private insurance or out-of-pocket. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model answer (opening excerpt)
The provision of medical services remains a contentious pillar of domestic policy, frequently polarizing those who view healthcare as a fundamental human right and those who see it as a market-driven commodity. While the privatization of medical care can alleviate fiscal pressure on the state and incentivize innovation, I believe that a government-funded system is the only mechanism capable of ensuring equitable health outcomes and preventing the socio-economic destabilization of the populace. [1]
The full Band 9 response, with paragraph-by-paragraph examiner notes, is part of Ted.Talks.DZ coaching.
The Trap → The Logic → The Fix
| The Trap (Band 5-6) | The Logic (Examiner Perspective) | The Fix (Band 8-9) |
|---|---|---|
| Vague Pronouns: "They think that it is better to have private doctors because it is faster." | Who is "they"? "It" is repetitive. This lacks academic distance. | Precision: "Advocates of privatization contend that market competition incentivizes shorter wait times." |
| Emotional Appeals: "It is a tragedy when people die because they are poor." | Examiners mark on logic and language, not empathy. Emotional language often masks a lack of vocabulary. | Socio-economic Analysis: "A lack of universal coverage exacerbates wealth inequality and reduces social mobility." |
| The "Balanced" Conclusion: "Both systems have pros and cons, so it depends on the country." | If the prompt asks for your opinion, a "it depends" answer is often seen as an "unclear position." | Decisive Stance: "While the private sector offers niche benefits, the public model is fundamentally more sustainable for the majority." |
Band-by-Band Breakdown
| Element | Why This is Band 9 | Common Band 6 Version |
|---|---|---|
| Lexical Resource | Uses "fiscal pressure," "centralized government body," and "equitable health outcomes." | Uses "money problems," "the government," and "fair health." |
| Coherence | Each paragraph starts with a clear "Topic Sentence" that dictates the logic of the next 4-5 sentences. | Paragraphs are a collection of ideas that are loosely related to the topic but don't follow a path. |
| Grammatical Range | Uses "conditional" (If/Then) and "subordinate" clauses (While/Although/Furthermore) to connect ideas. | Uses simple "Subject-Verb-Object" sentences. "Private healthcare is fast. Public healthcare is slow." |
| Task Response | Addresses both views and maintains a consistent opinion from intro to conclusion. | Discusses both views but only gives the opinion in the last sentence. |
More: all model answers · Task 2 structure guide
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